Four self-care regulation strategies
We humans are social creatures, and as such, we can choose to regulate our own emotions, or to help each other do it. Here are four different regulation strategies:
- Auto-regulation: It just happens (e.g. averting eye-contact, reading, etc)
- External regulation: You do it (receiving, e.g. being held, being listened to, therapy)
- Interactive regulation: We do it (attune to each other, eye-to-eye, skin-to-skin, dancing, dialogue, etc)
- Self regulation: I do it (self-control, breathing, reframing, etc)
You can relate these styles to your attachment style: are you more avoidant and do you prefer self-regulation? Or are you co-dependent and do you rely much on external regulation? It should be noted that none of the regulation strategies is better than the other, I would suggest that flexibility in choosing the right strategy for the situation is key.